Wedding planning can change a person.
I discovered I became quiet clever at describing things in such away to get my to-be-husband to say yes (either that or he just got sick of me asking the same questions over & over). You see, I really wanted to write our own vows where as my husband-to-be was adamant we would say traditional ones.
“But everybody uses them & I would really like to say something a bit more personal”
“That’s the beauty of them, they are traditional part of a wedding, which is why everyone says them”
“Death til we part- but that’s just so.... depressing!”
“Those vow have been used for hundreds of years!”
“Exactly! ... Okay well what if we also wrote a letter to each other that we just happened to read during the vow part of the ceremony before we exchange rings?”
I saw where my husband was coming from, but from all my experience the best ceremonies I had witnessed the couple had said more than two syllables. I do. We eventually reached an agreement to incorporate both.
I then spent months reading, researching, writing & trying to craft the perfect words to explain how I felt. I will let you in on a little secret..... its hard! I realized as I was writing out what felt like the 182nd draft of the words I wanted to say, that there existed no words that would some how sum up everything I wanted to promise.
I want to somehow come up with an elegantly crafted beautiful sonnet of the most poetic words possible while simultaneously saying 'I will still love you even if I get super cranky at you for leaving all the lights on in the house & eating the last of my Ben & Jerry's & I promise every once in a while to wash the dishes if you have had a really long hard day even though it is the thing I hate doing most in the world".
During the whole wedding planning process I think we sometimes forget about the reality of it all- every day life. I wanted our wedding to be perfect so the thought of mentioning an impending demise & dirty dishes during our ceremony seemed a little counter productive in my mind.
The truth is, marriage involves all those things: the good & the bad (& unfortunately the dishes). There will never be enough words to describe your hopes, your dreams, your promises, your future aspirations or your love. You just have to have faith that you both are on the same side & will go into the future with trust in each other.